Shizuoka

Shizuoka prefecture - along the coast between Tokyo and Osaka - isn't having a good week so far. Yesterday, at 5 in the morning, they had a shindo 6, magnitude 6.4 earthquake - strong enough that it woke us up in Osaka. Which was when a typhoon was passing by and drenching the area. It seems only one person died from the earthquake, while at least 13 people have died from the typhoon across the country and dozens more still missing. For all the fear of earthquakes, typhoons are actually both more common and more dangerous.

It lead to a slightly absurd scene on the morning news yesterday where the screen was overlaid with competing disaster information text scrollers and maps, all but covering the announcer. He was busy listing closed train lines and roads, and for some reason adding which disaster was responsible for each closure, as if that matters a whole lot to people unable to travel or even get to work.

This news managed to get top billing for only one day before being pushed back again by this week's real-life soap opera drama of Noriko Sakai - actress/talent with a wholesome Mommy's girl image - and her husband being arrested for drug possession. Apparently this "disaster" is more important to people than a typhoon; the typhoon can't cry and fake repentance on a live press conference, I guess.

How Not To Get Married

How's this for a scenario: You are a 39 year old salaryman, the night before your wedding. You and your bride have booked a prestigious hotel for the ceremony and the party, and worked for months preparing the event. There's just one little problem: you're already married. To somebody else.

So, it's 2 in the morning. Dawn will break in but a few hours and your fiancée and all your guests will get up and prepare for the big event. Speeches have been written, gifts have been bought, clothes have been carefully laid out. The hotel kitchen staff is undoubtedly already preparing the sumptuous dinner course awaiting the attendees. With some consternation you realize that you've really let this whole "I'm already married"-issue slide for far too long; this very day you will enter the holy state of bigamy in front of your relatives, your friends, your coworkers and your bride to not-really-be. So what can you do? You could come clean and live in shame forever; you could keep silent and hope nobody finds out. You could even try casually mentioning that oh, by the way, my other wife will be moving in with us next week. What do you do?

Well, you could try any of the above. Or, you could simply set fire to the hotel.

Are you Gay? You Can't Fly Here.

Monday morning and a friend passes on a newspaper notice that is just too good not to share: