Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How Not To Get Married

How's this for a scenario: You are a 39 year old salaryman, the night before your wedding. You and your bride have booked a prestigious hotel for the ceremony and the party, and worked for months preparing the event. There's just one little problem: you're already married. To somebody else.

So, it's 2 in the morning. Dawn will break in but a few hours and your fiancée and all your guests will get up and prepare for the big event. Speeches have been written, gifts have been bought, clothes have been carefully laid out. The hotel kitchen staff is undoubtedly already preparing the sumptuous dinner course awaiting the attendees. With some consternation you realize that you've really let this whole "I'm already married"-issue slide for far too long; this very day you will enter the holy state of bigamy in front of your relatives, your friends, your coworkers and your bride to not-really-be. So what can you do? You could come clean and live in shame forever; you could keep silent and hope nobody finds out. You could even try casually mentioning that oh, by the way, my other wife will be moving in with us next week. What do you do?

Well, you could try any of the above. Or, you could simply set fire to the hotel.

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